THE BREWSKI REPORT Tommy Brewski: My Beer. My Life.

June 6, 2011

EAB’s Tusker Finest Quality Lager 6.6.11

The Tusker label is the highlight of the beer.

The Tusker label is the highlight of the beer.

The Brewski Report Reviews Tusker Finest Quality Lager
File Date: 6.6.2011

File Name: A majestic animal for a unmajestic taste sensation.
The Beer: Tusker Finest Quality Lager
Type: American Adjunct Lager
Serving: Bottle
Stats: 4.2% ABV
Brewer: East African Breweries Limited
Web Site: http://www.eabl.com/
State/Country of Origin: Kenya
Brewer Info: East African Breweries Ltd is East Africa’s leading branded alcohol beverage business and has an outstanding collection of beer and spirits brands. With breweries, distilleries, support industries and a distribution network across the region, the group’s diversity is an important factor in delivering the highest quality brands to East African consumers and long-term value to East African investors. EABL has an annual turnover of Kshs 35 Billion and it has the largest share of the beer industry in the region. The group employs more than 1,000 people across East Africa. EABL has been awarded the accolade of the “Most Respected Company in East Africa”, five years in a row (2000, 2001, 2002, 2003 & 2004) and more recently as 2nd runners up in a survey conducted by Pricewaterhouse Coopers and the Nation Media Group.

tbr-tusker-logoBrewer Brand Hype: George Hurst, a co-founder of Kenya Breweries Ltd, was killed by an elephant during a hunting expedition in 1923. In memory of his tragic death, this famous lager beer that he had helped create was renamed ‘Tusker’. Tusker is brewed from 100% African ingredients that are all locally sourced. The barley is from the Savannah and the Maasai Mara. The spring water is from the Aberdare Mountains. All the yeast is developed locally. The cornstarch is sourced from a local kenyan company. Every grain of sugar is delivered from West Kenya. This means that you feel closely connected to the origins and roots of Tusker. The taste of African spirit can inspire you going forwards, by re-connecting you with your roots. As the old proverb goes, ‘to know where you are going, you must first know where you have come from’. Tusker drinkers see the traditions, beliefs and cultures of their roots as the springboard for inspiration. They are full of optimism; focused on looking forwards, not backwards. Today’s triumphs are born of and inspired by where we have come from – Tusker. Refresh Your Roots.
Label: Tusker Lager has been brewed in East Africa since 1922. Named after the elephant that killed George Hurst, one of the breweries founders. Tusker claims that special heritage of being one of the first beers in East Africa. Over the years, this unique lager has become a part of East Africa’s rich tradition. Tusker is brewed with high quality malt, made from equitorial barley grown at the base of Mt. Kenya, choicest hops and water that spings from the renowned Aberdare mountain ranges. Tusker’s famous crisp, refreshing taste and finest quality has continuously earned Gold Medals in the prestigious International Monde Selection Awards.

The Brewski Review: I had to pull this beer off the shelf. I was shopping with my two year old son and he loves elephants (and dinosaurs – alot) so I wanted to show him the label. That was the end of it. He wouldn’t put the bottle down so I had to buy it. Of course, I was hesitant to let him continue holding it or I’d have to do a taste review by licking the beer off the grocery store floor. When I pulled it out of the fridge, and if you were in my immediate presence, you would have noticed my undeniable taste reaction to this beverage. It was utterly and remarkably blah. True, it was an American Adjunct Lager, but still…..  You could even say that…..gasp….Coors Light is a decent tasting beer compared to this. Again….I was blown away but how untasteful (made that one up) this beer was.

Drinkability: No.
Appearance: Ultra pale golden color.
The Buds: Rather bland.
TBR Cap Rating: 2.75 out of 5 caps.

Interesting Print Ad. I'm sure the Birthers are saying - 'Yup. He sure is.'

Interesting Print Ad. I'm sure the Birthers are saying - 'Yup. He sure is.'

Don't like the beer but like the marketing. Nice, simple eye catching sign.

Don't like the beer but like the marketing. Nice, simple eye catching sign.

Another print ad for Tusker. Clean and Simple.

Another print ad for Tusker. Clean and Simple.

Somebody has some free time on their hands.

Somebody has some free time on their hands.

August 26, 2010

Getting Back to Coors Light….

The Brewski Report Falls off the Train….
File Date: 8.26.10

I’ve been been knocking this marketing campaign around in the back of my noggin for a little while now. I can’t seem to understand the Silver Bullet Train marketing strategy by Coors. A Train? What’s so cool about that? Besides….it’s an ugly chrome monstrosity. I would have thought they could come up with something better. Maybe the Coors Light blimp? Perhaps a plane? Or, how about a party bus….’Rolling it’s way toward you!’  A party bus filled with beer girls stopping at bars from coast to coast. Plant a few cameras on board and hire a mobile camera jockey/bus driver, and it would be a rolling advertising factory – pumping out an endless supply of TV and print stock. Think about it….

The Chrome Monstrosity Headed to a Depot Near The Inner City. Image of Coors Light's Silver Bullet Train.

The Chrome Monstrosity Is Headed To The Inner City Train Depot No Where Near You. Image of Coors Light's Silver Bullet Train.

Coors Actually Spent Money to Have A Sizeable Reproduction of The 'Silver Bullet Train' Fabricated.

Coors Actually Spent Money to Have A Sizeable Reproduction of The 'Silver Bullet Train' Fabricated.

You Can Even Take A Tour Through The 'Train'. Yippee! Can you hear the comments.....'This Thing Better Have A Friggin' Tap On Board.'

You Can Even Take A Tour Through The 'Train'. Yippee! Can you hear the comments.....'This Thing Better Have A Friggin' Tap On Board.'

And...The Scaled Down Version of The Chrome Monstrosity. Some May Like This Look On Their 'Realistic Looking' Model Train Set.

And...The Scaled Down Version of The Chrome Monstrosity. Some May Like This Look On Their 'Realistic Looking' Model Train Set.

I think This Is Cooler And More Realistic Than The Chrome.

I think This Is Cooler And More Realistic Than The Chrome. That Is, If Your A Coors Light Model Railroading Fanatic.

This Is What I'm Talking About! They Have 'The Bus', Now, Just Fill It With Some Beer........

This Is What I'm Talking About! They Have 'The Bus', Now, Just Fill It With Some Beer........

.....And Some Girls (Maybe Even A Dude or Two - I wouldn't want to appear Sexist).  Presto. A Marketing Campaign The Average Male And Female Drinker Can Relate To.

.....And Some Girls (Maybe Even A Dude or Two - I Wouldn't Want To Appear Sexist). Presto. A Marketing Campaign The Average Male And Female Drinker Can Relate To.

August 24, 2010

Coors Light Window Candy

The Brewski Report loves a good neon sign. And, Coors Light seems to enjoy them as well. The beer may not be that fantastic, but they do like to market the brand as much as possible. Take a look at these neon signs below.tbr-coors-bikini-neon2

tbr-coors-bottle-cap-neon1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

tbr-coors-mntn-neon1

tbr-coors-rodeo-neon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

tbr-coors-shamrock-neon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

tbr-coors-nfl-neon1

August 21, 2010

Coors Light Beer Review 8.21.10

The condensation on the bottle looks more flavorful than the contents.

The condensation on the bottle looks more flavorful than the contents.

The Brewski Report Reviews Coors Brewing’s Light Lager.
File Date: 8.21.10

File Name: Wife Discriminates: Makes Husband Do The Heavy Lifting.
The Beer: Coors Light
Type: Light Lager
Serving: Bottle
Stats: 4.2% ABV
Brewer: Coors Brewing Co. / MillerCoors
Web Site: www.coorslight.com
Country of Origin: CO, USA
Brewer Info: Adolph Coors Company was founded in 1873. Our principal subsidiary is Coors Brewing Company, the nation’s third-largest brewer. Throughout our history, Coors has provided consumers with high-quality malt-beverage products using the finest ingredients available. Coors Light is the the largest selling beer in the country. Coors maintains a long-standing commitment to equal opportunity in employment, promotion and purchasing. The company’s policy is to “recruit, hire, train and promote into all job levels employees and applicants for employment without regard to race, color, religion, gender, age, disability, covered-veterans status, sexual orientation or national origin.”  The Coors Golden brewery is the world’s larges on a single site. Free brewery tours are offered daily, except Sundays and holidays.

Inside this room, all of my dreams become realities, and some of my realities become dreams. - Willy Wonka

Inside this room, all of my dreams become realities, and some of my realities become dreams. - Willy Wonka (I'm sure for some that is.)

Brewer Brand Hype: Coors Light, the World’s Most Refreshing Beer, is the fourth best-selling beer in the U.S. Introduced in 1978, Coors Light has been a favorite in delivering the ultimate in cold refreshment for more than 25 years. Coors Light’s unique frost-brewing process locks in a taste as cold as the Rockies. The simple, silver-toned can caught people’s attention and the brew was nicknamed the “Silver Bullet” as sales climbed. Recent Coors Light innovations include the Cold Activated Bottle, Super Cold Draft, the Vented Wide Mouth Can with Frost Brew Liner and a Cold Activated Can.
Label: Nothing worth noting.

The Brewski Review: I was moving junk from my basement to the garage attic today in an effort to make more room in the basement for more junk.  Circular isn’t it? We’re not big consumers which is a good thing. My wife and I don’t think we have much stuff but we tend not to throw much away. While performing this mundane task several times from our air conditioned house to a garage attic that was well over 100 degrees, I thought it was high time I pull open the fridge and treat myself to a cold beverage. Juice boxes. No. Water. No. Coors Light. Okay, I’ll try one. And, might I say, what a dissapointment it was. There wasn’t much ‘beer’ flavor but if you wanted to drink a lot of beer, this choice may rank up at the top. Very watery. Very blah. I can only think that Coors Brewery has been distracted lately and their attention has been turned away from brewing beer. Take a look at the ‘Brewer Info’ above: why would a company integrate their equal opportunity employment policy into their marketing strategy? PR issues? Do they have a discrimination lawsuits on the docket or what? Hopefully this was just a poor pick of venues to eagerly promote their HR policy. My feeling is that Coors should remove the wording. I wouldn’t think this is advancing Coors Light’s marketshare. But, I could be all wrong on this one. Perhaps Coors drinkers are very litigious individuals. 

Drinkability: A guest left some at my house. It was free. Wouldn’t buy any myself.
Appearance: Pale golden color.
The Buds: Minimal taste. Watery. Session beer.
TBR Cap Rating: 2.5 caps out of 5.

Perhaps Atticus Finch is on the case.....

Perhaps Atticus Finch is on the case.....

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